“Hun, I’m heading out once the carriage is warmed up. Where is the winged dick?”

“Tits? Hulu. Blood? Hulu. Genocidal, slavery, or animal cruelty? Yeah, that can go pretty much anywhere, have you seen any of the old Disney flicks? Still have nightmares about that circus...”

He looks like what the Koolaid man would wear at a Halloween party.

Maglites are great.

“Cash reward being offered to the two armed men who shot an unarmed and hysterical civilian in the chest, after terrorizing him, as long as they bring my precious doggos back!”

It is a fuck of a thing to read an article describing zombies raping living women as merely “try-hard” and “edgy” as opposed to ludicrously offensive and obscene.

You butter get out of here, after that dad joke!

Rather than “It’s afraid!” that scene could have been:

I am perplexed and intrigued by this “mothman” and would like to know more about his powers to make politicians stop being piles of spineless scum.

Hey, Root editors/internet folk? This site doesn’t exactly get a tremendous amount of comments and more than half, at the time of this posting, are currently straight up racist shitposting.

“This will make for a good story on TikTok! Maybe I will go viral and make a ton of fucking money!”

I’m gonna throw out the idea that celeb relationships aren’t about hanging out and having cuddle sessions while enjoying affection with another individual that has genuine affection for you.

There is a distinct benefit to be a crusty old fucker with resting prick face.

I might have missed the window on weaponizing my daughter’s crap explosions, sadly, but I have a FIERCELY geriatric canine that has been having issues with his bowel control.

<Makes note to check comment section in a few and rushes off to make a vat of popcorn.>

“I am a dick.  I am not a cat.”

I’m kinda amused about the underlying suggestion in most of these recent pro-Tessica articles that turrible meanies are to blame for this woman’s error going viral.

And ten minutes after the meeting was over:

“DRIVER!  I hunger.  Lower my hood and we shall HUNT.”

Dead Island, for me, epitomizes your point.