This amazes me. Either of the Dons, the old one or the middle aged one, could Periscope themselves raping, dismembering, and eating a baby bunny from their own Twitter feeds, have their lawyers send out official confirmation of said actions, and their idiot base STILL wouldn’t believe it. Or the idiot base would say…

It soothes me to think that maybe he’ll wander off (maybe to Russia) during a commercial break, lose interest, and never come back. This is basically our only hope for survival.

The courts rarely ask the children what they want. (Source: Parents had an eleven year custody battle. No guardian ad litem ever took the pleadings of my siblings or myself into consideration. Ever.)

She might let the mob carry her off, or use the occasion to fake her own kidnapping.

If that’s the case, then god bless that person, whoever s/he is. Hopefully they’re laughing silently to themselves in a great new job.

JFC, they’re a broken record with the blame game already. I really think the rooms were only tentatively booked by the previous administration—after all, any new president might have wanted a different hotel—and after the half-dead tangerine came on board this is one of the (many millions of) things that fell through…

It’s also possible that the State Dept tentatively booked rooms before the inauguration, but there was no one left to confirm the bookings after the systematic gutting of said State Dept.

I think he’s genuinely afraid of Angela Merkel as a person. Putin he’s afraid of because of horrendous blackmail material, but Angela probably looked into cheeto-baby’s soul and then told said cheeto exactly what she saw.

What I wouldn’t give to see someone—ANYONE, even Putin—give the unpresident an atomic wedgie. That would be worth a million pee-pee tapes.

I can’t WAIT to know what it is. His pathetic supporters won’t care, but it would greatly help my peace of mind to finally have some clarity on just how horrible the blackmail material really is.

He probably would’ve loved to have Putin rub his belly and call him a good boy, but Putin looks like he’d rather get this shit over and done with ASAP.

I’m a tad surprised that Putin appears to be as unimpressed with his orange minion as everyone else is...I half expected Putin to be grinning ear-to-ear but he looks like he’d rather be back in Moscow.

Work-related epiphany whilst watching the Aretha video: My boss has been shading me for months and I need to find a new job, pronto.

His surviving siblings fascinate me. They must be just like him, or they would’ve said something publicly by now, or at least not shown up at his inauguration.

Yup. Millions of people are loving this, not to mention bullying policies like the travel ban and the goddamn wall. We’re not gonna change their minds—they’re too sick and too far gone. Our goals should be to unite, and to draw out the people who didn’t (or couldn’t) vote in 2016. Meeting both of those goals will be…

People are threatened by arugula now? What the else is wrong with KIDS TODAY? Arugula is a tasty, nutritious treat, especially when topped with roasted pine nuts and dressed with a little olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

Cheney would DESTROY the orange moron. In fact, I wish Cheney would do exactly this. How much would we have to pay him? Maybe we could set up a GoFundMe.

One of the many sad things about Drumpf’s life is how much good he could have done with his privilege, especially after his monster father died. He could have stashed his inheritance in conservative investments, lived a comfortable life and given charity off the interest, done enough work to keep himself occupied and…

Hell, I wish Cruz or Rubio was in office right now instead of the blood-obsessed orange pustule we’re dealing with now. This is how low my expectations have fallen, and that’s a very bad thing.

Former Mormon here (40+ years of devotion starting from birth). Maternity leave is a relatively easy one to give because, even in this year of our lord 2017, most married Mormon women of childbearing age in Utah who can do so will leave the paid work force either while pregnant with or immediately after the birth of…