I is the Icebag you’ve forgotten to buy

M is for Marlowe, who knew how to drink

B is for Bourbon and imbibing with bears

G is for Gin, and falling down stairs

I lost my virginity on top of an elevated crypt at a cemetery when I was 16. The cemetery was the only place we could find any privacy, for we didn’t have enough money for a hotel room and wanting something a little classier than a parked Saab. It was on an elevated crypt slab, that we covered with a blanket. We were…

I started off with cheddar. It’s a gateway cheese. Now I mainline brie o the reg. I’ve even dabbled with speedballing brie and camambert Perhaps someday I’ll have the strength to kick the cheese eating surrender monkey off my back.

I knew once I started freebasing stilton that I was lost.

PLEASE tell me the day you decide to kickstart some food-porn novel you obviously buried somewheres... because I’LL be there.

Hi I’m Supernova and um, I... I used to be pretty tame, it started the usual way with gateway cheeses. Pizzas, cheeseburgers, mac n’ cheese. As I got older I got into string cheese then jalapeño Jack. I started experimenting with the harder stuff later Feta, Brie, Bleu Cheese, goat cheese, then last Fourth of July…

I feel you sister.

Is it true that the hair of the dog is restorative?

I have to say, Lincoln Chafee was adorable. Not President...but everytime he fumbled his words, or said something embarassing, I literally went, “Awwww!” He’s like an aging polar bear and he hates coal! I just want to give him a big fluffy blanket and hot coacoa.

After his terrible debate, I had to wiki Chafee. I find it bizarre how this super liberal (pro-choice, anti-gun, pro-gay marriage, anti-arctic drilling, anti-war, pro-metric system?) was a Republican for 20+ years.

I feel bad for Chafee. He seems like a nice enough guy and he has a lot of experience, but he’s just not what Americans are looking for. He’s kind of bland, he doesn’t get that we all hate the metric system, and there’s just no place for him in this election. I think he and O’Malley and Webb were all hoping to be the…

What a stupid fucking thing to become a confrontational journalist over.

Though my hair is considerably longer than Linc’s, I’ve been rocking the center part since 1973. Check the avatar!

Chafee reminds me of high and glowing Mr. Burns from the Simpsons coming out of the woods preaching for peace. Sweet sweet man. Chafee, not Mr. Burns.

I honestly really really really liked Lincoln Chafee after watching the debate.

Former Rhode Island governor Lincoln Chafee, a mild-mannered gecko whom I long to take home and place in a well-lit terrarium environment....

Martha may have learned this in the Big House, if you know what I mean.