“Hello? 911? I need to report a fire at … ”

What? No towel? Any hoopy frood knows where their towel is at.

Many people are still put off by apocryphal stories about MSG and headaches – the so-called “Chinese Restaurant Syndrome.”

Well – I miss her, and am definitely a member of Team Samantha. She was always my favorite.

Dear lord, all of this is so right up my alley. If I have a sweet tooth for anything, it’s decent Champagne. If I can’t get that, a passable sparkling wine will do … even Freixenet! I’m no snob.

Hi. My name is randyman, and I’m a cheese addict. I have a cheese problem.

Don’t force your children into church, or any other form of religious indoctrination.

Um … not to be pedantic, but my #1 use is making tea. Green tea – specifically, genmaicha. Definitely not coffee.

What is a vinaigrette? A teeny, tiny, small vinaigre.

When my Dad died, my two brothers decided to ignore the three-way even split the will stipulated … and announced they each deserved 2/5ths to my 1/5th.

Mark my words: before this season is over you’ll see Loki him/herself enjoying a tasty mayo-enhanced snack, thereby proving my assertion.

Mayo: the lube of the gods. There is little that cannot be improved by the judicious application of mayo.

Fred watched as June kissed a man she actually felt love for …

Phoebe wrote Smelly Cat. QED.

Much of the ridiculously overblown response to the SNL gesture resulted from the fact that 99% of the public had no idea that an iconoclast is, in fact, a destroyer of images. 

Happened to see this just yesterday on Reddit; thought it was great. (Given that I grew up across the lake from Seattle.)

The Baybay Bungee™!

So … I was at the grocery store this morning, and there was a young woman with a black t-shirt that said in bold letters “Not Today, SATAN!”

Okay – true fact; I was at a friend’s daughter’s wedding just over a month ago, and Ms. Moore was a guest, as was Rumer Willis.

I’m just having a hard time processing the notion that Lamb Chop is a guy.