Police Officer: HANDS UP!
Ohio State Fan: [makes "o"]
Ohio State Fan: [makes "h"]
Ohio State Fan: [makes "i"]
Police Officer: [uses entire can of spray]

I understand wanting to use tear gas on OSU fans as a general principle, but c'mon, you at least have to let them fuck up before you do it.

Your tears, they taste so good.

Also, please recharge your phone. You're making me anxious.

This is how Oregon fans reacted to the halftime score

This is less interesting than I expected.

"Would have never happened if he had some velvet rope."

Well, at least he retained his dignit- oh.

This is really tasteless, Barry. That man just had his home broken into.

Come on, he's clearly dealing with existential dread.

That's why they play the game!! To, you know, have it hinge upon a subjective evaluation of rules so densely worded, if the words were layers of the Earth's crust, there'd be a diamond at the bottom of them.

A.J. RUINED THE ROAST

Oh my god. This is amazing.

He doesn't follow me, either, and the best career advice he ever gave to me he told me in a really exasperated voice before warning me that if I didn't do what he suggested I'd "wind up like him."

So basically you're saying he's now Shingy?

The only time I've ever gone to a casino has been with Tommy Craggs. He's obsessed with following the probabilistic rules of proper gambling, focusing on "the process" instead of playing blackjack in a way that might possibly be enjoyable. It's like watching an old man slowly masturbating to CSPAN without any of the…

He adores Sherlock, karaoke,...

Fuck Craggs