I heard he passed someone on campus and didn't say "Howdy!" which we all know is unforgivable.

Good luck getting sympathy on rooting for a playoff baseball team and one of the most exciting teams in the NBA. Jesus, what's next? Someone going "I'm a Yankees, Broncos, Heat fan. It's been a long 9 months".

At least when J.R. Smith and Jason Kidd were on the team they were only half in the bag.

As a Knicks and Mets fan, I'm ready for plastic bags.

It's still early, but this is a strong contender for dumbest shit posted on Deadspin tonight.

Sometime during the 2nd quarter of the FSU/Oregon game, my parents asked, "can we change to a less boring game?" I coldly replied, "No. I've earned this. We are going to watch every second."

She had her back done.

Maaaaan, Aaron Neville is gonna be pissed that Ross is jacking his look...

"They also found teen upon teen dressed in bustiers and lingerie doing god knows what teens do while listening to "Toy Soldiers" on repeat."

Right? Not to support this Shit Dad, but I laughed at the report of the bush beer can... seriously? How is that even noteworthy?

You should sign off with a notice that you're about to be making some upgrades to Kinja.

Only one way to go.

It's not like the head of NFL officials was seen on the Cowboy's Party bus this past August.

That is actually revolting.

Before any of you disrespectful losers start making any rude jokes, at least wait until this man's body is as cool as the other side of the pillow.

Scoot over, Tubby Smith!

Good news is that the UPD and Tallahassee PD are investigating, so the criminals will be brought swiftly to justice.

Seems legit

He just got picked off, too.

It's only a coincidence, but this is also how they tried to resuscitate that parrot Barry's kid microwaved.