Um. Not making shit up. You have a good day there champ.

So, just a fun (terrible) constitutional fact for those that don’t know. Supreme Court justices do not have to be professional lawyers or judges to be seated on the court. So, these SOB’s would probably seat him anyway even if he was disbarred by the ABA.

“The luckiest among us will remember it as an event that reached its conclusion while they were fast asleep.”

All Hail the Great Leader!

Respectful request for an exception. Titty Bar > Strip Club. It just makes them sound more fun then they actually are.

Ok, good. So not Armed Forces.

Obligatory.

Exactly, did you see how that impact made the bench warp and pop up? If that Packer player wasn't there he could have been seriously injured getting his arm wedged in that bench.

Speaking as a Bears fan. That call was pure unadulterated bullshit. If it really is about not using all your weight for the tackle then he shouldn’t have been called for it last week. He broke his fall going to the ground with his left arm.  This rule literally wants people to battle if not break the laws of physics. 

In Battlefield 1 whenever I'm driving the Dreadnought ship I always use the ship horn to do the Jaws theme song. This is far. Far. Cooler and I feel kind of lame now.

Wait. I’ve seen this guy somewhere before, where was it? Oh yeah!

Cable wore it better.

A fun story to research with your deadspin bretheren is back in ‘06 or ‘07 a wild mountain lion found its way into Chicago and had to be shot dead by the CPD about a block or two away from Wrigley Field. I always look at that as a relative positive for certain apex predators expansion back to their historic territory…

You probably know French Ontarian. No American will listen to your opinion.

Hi, I’m in my 30s and this is my retirement plan but I think you can use it right now. Thailand is gorgeous. https://amp-uk-businessinsider-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.uk.businessinsider.com/you-can-buy-elite-residency-in-thailand-for-60000-2017-4?amp_js_v=a2&amp_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQCCAE%3D#referrer=https://www.google…

If you truly wrote that drunk you went up a few points in my book. I too enjoy being drunk and your proper use of drunk paragraphs was helpful. I just had woken up and part of my morning routine is checking the Kinja sites to see if there is anything worth commenting on for fun. Just making an honest joke. I tell…

I want my five minutes back.

As a Bears fan that has not read any comments on this article and just needed to scream into the internet void. FUUUUUUUUUCCKKKKKKKKKKKK! Also, Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth are just terrible. I know I'm amoung the minority but I prefer Tony Romo's announcing technique from last season. 

I love that he wore his Yale gear to the interview. I’m Ivy league trained bitches! You can’t put me down!

This is not surprising at all. I was based at the Naval Air Station in Fallon, NV. It’s about 40 min east of the factory. That region is well known for drug smuggling. Particularly meth.