I'm one of the hardcore players he's talking about, with three maxxed characters and 25 days of real time put in. And I almost hate Destiny. I play it like it's my job. But it's like being in a bad relationship with someone you are immensely attracted to. You tolerate all the boring, inane bullshit in the hopes of…

Seven seconds into that video you can see Geraldo's face realize this woman has no idea what irony is.

AND I SAY TO MYSELF...YOU MUST HAVE EXACT CHANGE

I think they would say beer. Not Randy any more, but yeah...beer.

I haven't looked through the comments, so forgive me if I'm repeating someone else's sentiment. From my perspective as a white guy in the middle of Florida I know exactly what you mean when white people are too nice, because you've made me realize I do it. And it's literally "white guilt". I hate that term because…

This made me laugh. Also, LOG is my most favoritest band. Along with your example (which, ugh... I know) there's always the server that has to say "BEHIND" even if you could land a plane between you. I guess it really boils down to most people in the restaurant biz aren't exactly rocket surgeons.

Yes, terribly. And after the surgery I couldn't sit at all for a month, but it was worth it.

Ha! Almost exactly, just the other cheek.

I had a cyst in the muscle there the size of a grapefruit removed about 15 years ago. It sucked.

My butt is terrible. Like, a war crime. To the point that despite having been married my wife never saw it if I could help it. Oddly small for someone my size (6'5" 240 lbs), with an eight-inch vertical scar next to the crack where I had to have surgery that left a huge flat spot. And in pants it disappears…

Just hide under the platform and snipe Kirk. You can one-man it that way.

I admire your self-awareness. Owning a dog is so much more than loving it. When you're able, you'll make a great dog companion.

In all my years on the intertubes I feel like I can say without any hyperbole that this is the best .gif I've ever seen.

"Volcano adjacent" is my favorite turn of phrase today. Well done.

I have to admit... I am a Sarah Silverman uber-fan. A Silvermaniac, even. I've watched all of her things, read her book. I even cried a little when Duck died. But then when that roast happened and they gave her all that flack about aging I felt so bad for her. I'm firmly of the mind that if you can dish it out you…

See, I like that a lot more. The military-ishness of it is better. Never heard it used though, and I've worked in a bunch of kitchens. Maybe it's a regional thing?

I had no idea they were so cute! Now I feel guilty for eating so many of them...

Great review, Kirk. I had absolutely no interest in this game before reading this (thanks Colonial Marines). Rarely does a review change my mind this significantly. Will definitely be checking it out.

Say, for instance, that you needed to tell a busy cook a specific detail about an order that isn't on the ticket for whatever reason, like "hold the onions." The cook would reply "heard" to acknowledge you without having to stop what they were doing. It's pretty common practice and it transfers responsibility to the…

Maybe I just have it on my mind because it's bugging me a lot lately. Great article though.