Now that’s just lazy. The least you could do is make a joke about the river being on fire or quote the Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism video.

Hardly. Kyrie has shown that he is less of a pg and more of a sg. But he’s not soft.

Deeply flawed?

As it stands, the Bulls could probably handle the Bucks. But that’s about it.

You know, it is possible to take great care in how you dress and simultaneously give no fucks in what people think about it. She clearly does not. She has her own amazingly ridiculous style that is in great contrast to what she does for a living. It appears that she enjoys wearing clothes and wearing nice things. But…

I hope his play as of late finally puts to sleep the idea of respecting the caterpillar.

Sorry. I am sure you know lots about whiskey. But being defensive about which whiskey you drink is silly. Rye and bourbon whiskey are a grand American tradition, why not drink something great. Rittenhouse is great. Templeton is carelessly made garbage, marketed to be hip whiskey. It is not good. I don't care whether…

Templeton is not worth the money. It's made in a factory in Indiana and bottled in Iowa. It's pretty ridiculous, because they put this whole fake story on the side of the bottle that it is Capone's whiskey. It's not. If you want a good affordable rye, try Old Overholt or if you can find it, my favorite is Rittenhouse.…

I already have established drinking days. Today, tomorrow, and everyday after that.

A fat guy with declining talents? Why not Cleveland?

I've done shots of Bulleit before, the headache is terrible.

April is the worst on the show, by far. Aubrey Plaza is not funny.

Claude Lemieux deserved to be dumped head first into the ice as often as possible.

Oh so it happened already and we missed it?

Hang on, you like prosciutto on your pizza but you don't want arugula on it at the same time? That's how you have it. As intended. Giovanni de Pizza invented it 1000 years ago with that exact recipe. What kind of horrible person are you to not like the classics?!

How was he hung? It would seem that if you aren't in fact, hung like a horse, you may have difficulty fucking said horse.

I'm excited to hear what he's doing next.

If anyone ever doubts the courage of the early space explorers, they only need to see artifacts like this, held together with tape, rigged by an engineer. I am glad these will be on public view.

It's always important to start the even with an amuse-douche.

I like that it says Lamborghini on the dashboard. That way, in case you forget the car name while hurtling into a ditch, the dashboard will stamp the name into your forehead.