That's sick. You're a sexual deviant.

I am so afraid of having a Cruz sexdream that I haven’t slept since I read that.

well Norway and Finland for starters, unless they have Orks

“That’s my Robert, always peeing on people.”

Hey, my mom is a jerkbag!

"....witnesses named him as the leading thrower of haymakers. He avoided jail time by pleading guilty to burglary with intent to commit assault, then settled the lawsuits through payments to the victims; the Texas State Bar Association then invalidated his law license.

The accusations are against him, the assault was allegedly by him.

It’s not a coincidence. Julia Louis Dreyfus has been squatting in your place for months. She likes to watch you sleep.

“Aw shit, I’m a metaphor”

“Eleanor, did I not telleth thee that the fletchings shalt be crimson?”

nothing i love more than a strongly worded UN letter

Probably not. Drone operators have to go to flight school. I don’t know why, though. It seems like bad vision would be advantageous - at least there will be a convenient excuse when the operator levels an orphanage rather than an enemy training camp.

What’s the saying “beer and whiskey make you frisky”? Or maybe I made it up... Never mind, cheers!

Aaaaargh matey! Hmmm on second thought, maybe I've had enough lol

F-5 Talon: The Miata of the SKIES

At first people at Gawker were super jazzed when they thought the attackers were “three white men”. Then it turned out to be a couple brown people. In an attempt to salvage the politicization of a tragedy, the narrative quickly changed to that of an evil man who had brainwashed a poor innocent women into committing a…

Buffalo is a flat circle.

Well, colour me surprised.