Tonight on "Obama's Hip Hop BBQ," the Commander-in-Chief welcomes his guests Denzel Washington, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and music from The Joe Biden Experience!

Good beat, I can dance to it …

'CAUSE EXTREEEEEEEMMME FROOT FLAVOR HAS WARPED HIS CEREEEEEEEBRAL CORTEX

DAMN YOU KEN OBER

Yeah, this does have the faint whiff of the edgiest sitcom on Fox in 1994.

ONE CAN DREAM

DAMN STRAIGHT

So which part of this did "author" James Patterson "write," besides his signature on the back of the check?

CORMAN THE EMPLOYER

Emma Thompson as Trump.
James Earl Jones as Hillary.
Outtakes of the late Fred Dalton Thompson from his role in Die Hard 2 as the late Fred Dalton Thompson.

I thought number 9 was "Guy who impersonates real estate developer at parties."

This will be …

Hmm. Hillary, while flawed in many ways, agrees with me about several things I care about. Trump is a creep and a thief and a liar and a cheat, and I don't trust him or like him.

I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE

Oh, I get it now! It was all an act! A put-on! Wacky shenanigans! He's not a monstrosity with a deep hatred of women, he's a rich vein of comedy gold!

Dear Skrillex,

Hey, I sat three rows behind you in Health and Family Living!

IT'S FOR PEACEFUL PURPOSES DAMMIT

I see you are unfamiliar with Hormel. Allow me to introduce you.

Jack? Kate? A twist ending?