I’m a retired oncologist. I’ve seen a lot of nasty stuff. Disfiguring cancers. pain and suffering. People bleeding out in front of me. I’ve dissected dead human beings. I’ve been involved in surgeries on live ones. I’ve done literally hundreds of bone marrow aspirates which are often very painful.

The joy/misery ratio between a Bills fan living in Miami and a Miami fan living in Buffalo this winter will be unbelievably wide.

Finally conquering his arch-nemesis, so he’s free to focus on playing ball.

Next up in “Sam Darnold’s Series of Incapacitating but Humorously Mundane Afflictions”:

You can always count on Hammertoe for Mitchell for those threads. 

“I don’t know. It was pretty ghost, er, gross. Let’s hope he’s back to 100% and last week’s performance was an apparition, I mean, an aberration. We realize this has been a rough season for all of Jets phantom, uh, fandom. STOP RECORDING ME.”

You only have yourself to blame for goofing off with the volume on. Come on, it's procrastinating at work 101. 

Hey you know what I need when I’m supposed to be working but I’m really goofing off on the internet?  It’s definitely “WELCOME TO ANTIQUE SHITSHOW” at top volume.  

Pretty callous response. But I do love the pun threads, warts and all

I’ve seen this movie.

“Timing is everything.” —Rex Ryan

Stop trying to summon Curtis Wenis. He doesn’t read this blog anymore. 

My friend, let me tell you about rec league softball.

Every once in a while I like to step back and think about how a bunch of adults playing a game for a living can be such an uptight bunch of pricks.

It’s too bad that Sam Darnold isn’t a grown man who can speak for himself...oh, wait.

Ghosts are an upgrade from Sanchez seeing the Kraken.

+1 uncomfortable silence

“I never saw a ghost when I played against the Pats. I did see a giant asshole though.” - Mark Sanchez

I feel like the biggest issue here is that people hear “ghosts” and immediately assume they’re talking about the bad guys in a Scooby Doo cartoon. But “ghosts” can also just be fleeting images you see, especially out of the corner of your eye; it happens with a lot of vision issues - concussions too, per my…