Gotta say, that bank is on point with the potential frauds. Hearing “Fan requires $724 worth of beer to get through Dolphins game” sounds uncannily plausible.

That’s gold, Merk, GOLD!

Nothing more American than being wrong, I guess.

Ah, I see, THAT’s the deal with airline food.

Between this and Doctor Dao, United is the Vontaze Burfict of airlines.

These earlier episodes of BattleBots are much more dangerous than I remember them.

This is the biggest hit I’ve seen laid on a number 11 who couldn’t handle drinks since Phil Simms.

Poor fucker probably missed a 43-yard field goal in practice.

If both guys get boners, then I think they should pick the flag back up. 

I checked all the porn this weekend, did not see him.

Minshew is an anagram for "Wins? Meh."

I look forward to building a relationship this season, I as the expert and you as the eager “student” of my expertise. 

It was a very good match, a reminder of the halcyon days of Mark Brunell, speaking of lending money

His entourage that included Raj, Dwayne, and Rerun had no comment.

Angel Hernandez is wondering why Odell wasn’t ejected.

So, no one’s gonna mention Humphrey’s dressed like it’s the 1970s?

After the game, Odell Beckham Jr. told reporters that he was more concerned with Humphrey’s erection during the play, as well as his own.

Assuming Humphrey stopped when Odell used his safe word, this seems like a non-issue.

The Cubs fired a manager who led them to the NLCS three consecutive years, won 471 games in five seasons, all in spite of shitty ownership.

Well, he’s not Poor Rodriguez.