[makes dismissive wanking motion] - Jeff Fisher

Because without the Giants the Patriots would be even more insufferable 

Good night sweet, paste-eating prince.

Hopefully he will do a better job handing off to Saquon than Manning.

Ok, but you understand that the people who are victim blaming literally do not give a shit unless it directly affects their life.

You created a kinja account just to write that.

Show off.

“Whatever, haters, you’re just mad because he’s on the Patriots!”

Kill me, please.

Italy: Beautiful country, amazing food, terrible people.

hurt, suspended, or in Cleveland

Gravity finally gets its sweet revenge on Newton. 

I’m with you, I was working the ER that night, dozens upon dozens of kids wheeled in who had devoured their own fingers watching their hero do it on television

The fact that this sanctimonious blowhard is on TV bitching about this is rich given that he carefully cultivated and monetized his college image while being a terrible failure at everything else he’s tried to do professionally.

Talk about selfish. The only reason the guy starting playing minor league baseball was because his name was becoming increasingly irrelevant after he was a huge bust in the NFL and he just SUCKS in Triple-A. If it was any other player playing like that in Triple-A, he wouldnt have a job anywhere. He literally only has…

Ronald Darby claims that the speech never happened 

I want to preface this by saying that I do not care for Joe Biden as a presidential candidate. Unlikely I’ll vote for him in a primary, and I sincerely hope he does not win the Dem nomination. That said:

“A real winner wears 7-9 shirts.”

I was prescribed Percocet after an ACL repair and I remember feeling AMAZING! Like Jesus Christ! Is this what it means to feel HIGH??? Why isn’t EVERYONE getting this shit??? This stuff is GREAT for my chronic depression!!! I love almost EVERYBODY!!

Maybe if you didn’t wear 4-6 shirts to bed you would not sweat so much at night.