I don’t understand. I ordered the fight and then my cable bill had a bunch of porn on it. Like so much porn. More porn than one human could be capable o of watching.

Bettman is probably right, fans are jackals. These assholes at the Kings’ game kept yelling “Marion” at number 12. Fucking douchebags.

Maybe for a turbo.

1. The opening strains of "Welcome to the Jungle"

When I wasn’t a functioning adult and contributing member of society, I used to have Angel Of Death by Slayer. That turned more heads than Bruce Jenner in a tube skirt.

The headline we didn’t go with: “How I Accidentally Said ‘Bukakke’ To A Stranger In GTA V.”

Let’s get creative!

Why aren’t people buying these things?

Blue with White stripes and white wheels (if it would let me)

"I believe her."

Deadspin's most feeble legal minds weigh in...

“Lose some weight, baby girl.”

That’s... perjury...

I think it’s time for a nap. Then maybe a grammar class on the use of your/you’re.

Juror #2, when asked if he understood what “extreme atrocity or cruelty” was, replied simply that “they should’ve run Marshawn Lynch.”

I summon AMATEUR LEGAL EXPERTS OF KINJA

“Hey Bill, we made $200 million more than last year!!! What should we do with all the money? Should we give it to the players?”

I don't know who Marietta is, but he must be a bum if he's only throwing 4 yard Pennington Specials. Marcus Mariota, on the other hand, lead the nation in yards per attempt, and unless his WRs were Barry Sanders-ing DBs for tons of YAC, he was doing more than dinking and dunking.

Please say that again....just slower this time.