It’s a reality all dads with daughters need to remember. If the boys call my little girl nasty names because she won’t sleep with them, and she’s confident enough to ignore them, that’s when I’ll consider my parenting a success.

The President’s mature and dignified response involved calling the perpetrators of the bombing “losers”. Because in the face of a tragedy, you always want to hear the leader of the free world using playground taunts.

ISIS would take responsibility for a ham sandwich.

Yes, but only one truly matters.

Umm - yes?

the name of that bottle is THE BEST EVER

Are you really all that surprised that a school founded on a tobacco fortune would try to practice slavery?

“Website Writer Employs Jack Sock To Click Bate”

This is clearly fake news. There is no way Jack Sock is a real name.

Now when I hear Garvin, I only think of Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute.

Searching for this creepy bastard’s appearances on that apelike creepy bastard’s snake oil show helped me realize Karl Pilkington has the rugged handsomeness and charisma of Antonio Banderas in comparison.  

“Rich White Man Buys Rights NWA”

Warms my heart to see Dennis Coralluzzo mentioned here on Deadspin.

Maybe he just wishes it was 1979.

It was later discovered that he had only bought the organization so that he could hold a “Despite All My Rage I Am Still Just a Rat In a Cage Match”.

I’m guessing your lip still hurts because you get socked in the face every time you open your mouth.

As someone who has made that journey I can attest that it hurts like hell, but I still laugh too...

It’s one of those things where you feel bad about laughing, but... that doesn’t stop you from doing it.

Over the handlebars is never not going to be funny to me.

Not the first time a Makita was in the crease in Chicago.