Trump’s already got Munchkin-sized hands

That’s a reason Superman always gave Lois for not getting married & having children: he feared for her safety in childbirth

Imagine Elaine’s End Zone dance ... the NFL Celebration Rules Committee would simultaneously IMplode and EXplode

You have to do it right ... “Introducing: The NEW Hong Kong Cavaliers!!!”

You got the “tit” part right, but I think you missed a letter on the second part

You left out the small hands

Didn’t I see this on Shark Tank? No one went in on it, if I recall

Didn’t I see this on Shark Tank? No one went in on it, if I recall

It’s not a REAL awards show without a drunk & horny Michelle Beadle

Not even Greg LeMond?

I thought he was going over the side to look cowardly, then snea back on somehow

The lyrics to the Mister Softee song are below. Enjoy

I have found that a tech fabric finisher’s shirt from a 10K/half-marathon/marathon/triathlon might as well be an Invisibility Cloak when a skinny little cardio-centric shit like me wanders into the weight training area

Oprah ruined marathons: they used to be the realm of incredibly fit and slightly insane loners who would ALWAYS try to do them as fast as they possibly could and still survive

Step One: Google “Mike Rossi”

Those are 26.1's are fucking impossible to find ... 26.2's are MUCH easier

Mom-to-be: we’re going have a cake that says boy or girl

I would say “Please stop having children” but that’s just me

“You killed your own brother!”

Hey, you never know when Doping Control is gonna show up