Not even Greg LeMond?

The lyrics to the Mister Softee song are below. Enjoy

I have found that a tech fabric finisher’s shirt from a 10K/half-marathon/marathon/triathlon might as well be an Invisibility Cloak when a skinny little cardio-centric shit like me wanders into the weight training area

Oprah ruined marathons: they used to be the realm of incredibly fit and slightly insane loners who would ALWAYS try to do them as fast as they possibly could and still survive

Step One: Google “Mike Rossi”

Those are 26.1's are fucking impossible to find ... 26.2's are MUCH easier

Mom-to-be: we’re going have a cake that says boy or girl

I would say “Please stop having children” but that’s just me

Hey, you never know when Doping Control is gonna show up

“Gravity is a harsh Mistress” - The Tick

This needs to be an episode of “Blue Bloods” [starring Tom Selleck and Donnie Wahlberg, Fridays at 10pm on CBS]

That sounded like a crunchy taco

Jailhouse Spaghetti

I’ll go you one deeper: trust the thermonuclear process

Roger Staubach served as a Supply Officer in Vietnam after winning the Heisman

Could he possibly bring back Mikey Whipwreck? That’s all I ask

“barley curl?” I’m not sure if that was a typo or not?

He probably started out with more drugs and less cash = nickel & dime dealer

jayson Stark

Prince William gets squirted in the face