“I was misinformed”

“We got tunnels” - George Lopez

The dead Shark was allegedly known as “Bernardo”

“The Sheriff’s Office said Wednesday that another shark was also found Friday in a driveway off 2nd Street in Vilano Beach, but no report of that incident was filled out.”

Obama trained little insects to eavesdrop on President Trump. Really. The technical term is Surveil Ants ... that’s why they’re called “Bugs”

Everyone is so focused on the “you can surveil through their phones, certainly through their television sets, any number of different ways, and microwaves that turn into cameras, et cetera,” part, that everyone is missing the “There was an article this week ...”

Famous Monsters of Filmland once asked on their FB page: “If you could combine 3 animals, what would they be?”

People posted stuff like Great White Shark + Grizzly Bear + Rhinoceros, or Crocodile + Tiger + Eagle, and so on

Not me

Imagine Ghidora + Godzilla + King Kong = A Giant 3-Headed Flying Monkey, that breathes…

“... from a certain point of view”

Wasn’t R2D2 just another astromech droid on Queen Amidala’s Royal Cruiser when they had to make that pitstop on Tatooine? That’s when they met Anakin and his Hobby Lobby project that he called C-3PO

Scene: Cantina on Tatooine

Wild turkeys are just hobo peacocks

They boo’d the ballgirl for squashing a bug, but they will all go to the bullfight on Saturday

Intercourse or Bird In Hand are about halfway

When you have Bonnie & Clyde handing out the awards, SOMEONE is gonna get robbed

I thought that said “deflated”

The only thing hard about being a Patriots fan today, is in the pants ... and even THAT’s not so hard #whiskydick

Ho ho, ho ho

“Honered” is just the #alternativespelling

The last time I saw him at the liquor store was about a year ago, and he was still wearing that headband.

Well I’m wrestling here in Allentown
And I hope there’s no else around
I busted my girls head
And I think that she’s dead
That’s not the way I’ll say it went down