To Randilyn, a witty darling, one of my absolute favorites and for whom I have gone and translated many Yiddish phrases, such as Sophia from the Golden Girls was (LOL!) “Mixed Up” (Or was she? I use all of that stuff that now, I didn’t realize until yesterday how hard you could hide behind “DERP!” or “Yeah, I’m crazy,…

tell that to the tattooed love boys

I was assaulted at gunpoint way back in 1975, wearing an ankle-length, high-collared, long-sleeved granny dress and flat maryjane shoes (it was a look.) A woman’s choice of apparel is not responsible for an attackers actions. Ever.

I only wish I could get the fuckin thing to work on comments that don't have numbers. Still just can't click on the damn star. Being a noobie is so embarrassing lol.

Farterdumb. BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

True true :]

Thank you! Yes, I don't think my humor is for everyone, I imagine people will rip into me per usual. But your kind words will give me strength! Also, your word play game is just on a whole nother level, I fuckin bow to you.

Seriously. We need more women like Jackie Fox.

Can I just say I hate this breed of pick-n-choose Christians. They’re vomitous and foul and I’m fairly certain Christ himself would be giving them the side-eye. Plus considering that none of the new testament was actually written by Jesus himself, just other people basically reporting second or third hand versions of…

Ya know, spreadsheets are an absolute abomination...

Holy cow, that worked. You just done wrinkled my brain. I bow to your knowledge.

Martyrdom is a helluva drug.

Nothing will inspire me to exercise. Nothing I tell you! I haven’t even gotten outta bed yet. Take that!

Hey, waittaminute... it definitely can’t be Miss Piggy who wrote the original post. One of her people, sure — but would the real Miss Piggy start a sentence with “I’m sorry”? Could she even say “I’m sorry”?

Next Monday I promise

“Why should this court not find you in contept?”
“Because Jesus, your honor.”
“Aaaaaand?”
“Also God, your honor.”
“That’s ALL you have, huh?”

Oh, that takes me back.

Me: Man, all that working out and I still can’t dance! What am I doing wrong?

I have done my job well.

Alright, alright. I'll take one for the team and marry this Fraggle Rock looking Trash Heap to take her off the market. I will then get a sex change without telling her, therefore she will be married to a woman. Then maybe, just maybe, she'll change her mind about all of this nonsense. Or kill herself, which ever…