I love shit on a shingle. Dad was the son of a marine so he grew up with it and thus I did too. We make a slightly modified version with cut up hard boiled egg mixed into the chipped beef and roux.

I was once at Peter Luger's (very old-school NYC steakhouse staffed mostly by cranky old men) with a girl who ordered her steak "very well done". It was all I could do not to burst out laughing when the elderly, gruff waiter put her plate in front of her and said, "And this is what was once a very nice piece of meat".

After the fourth, my manager came out and explained that the longer you cook a steak, the less juices are left in the meat, the tougher it becomes. He then asked if she'd like us to cook a new steak for her, if this one wasn't the way she liked it. She got very angry, said no and that she'd eat it even though we…

That's the scenario in which we just might see Bumgarner come in and pull a Pedro Martinez.

"Yes, and I like my coffee like I like my men." The waiter, without changing his expression said, "I'm very sorry, madam, but we don't have any gay coffee."

When reached for comment, Joe Maddon said, "I don't regret the time I spent with the ugliest dome in all of sports. And Tropicana Field wasn't all that bad, either."

He was just thinking of a hammock he saw on Goop.

Don't be sorry, ever. I've said for years anything with 2 in the title, should ALWAYS be followed by "Electric Bugaloo."

I can't wait for her mugshot. It's gotta be just around the corner.

Cookware. Using really good cookware will improve your cooking immensely. Using el cheapo cookware obtained at the dollar store or grocery store for ten cents a pot (with minimum purchase) is a recipe for disaster. Save up your money and buy the best you can afford - it will last a lifetime, and encourage you to cook…

"I think my biggest argument that vaccines are harmless is why is mercury in the fucking vaccine? "

That's because there's no such thing as decent ranch dressing.