Like most other celebs, Magic doesn't actually tweet himself, he gets one of his aids to do it for him.

“He should be apologizing for all the goddamn weeds in his yard.”

Getting a different vibe here.

Dear Blair Walsh,

“P.P.P.P.P.S. Teacher hits us when we make mistakes. Send help.”

Announcer: LET’S HEAR IT FOR YOUR LONDON RAIDERS!!!!!!!!!!

“look i’ve told you a thousand times that pizza is not a pizza topping!”

“Shit, I got all that stuff and a dart board in my basement.”

For some reason I don’t feel like blaming the loss on the only guy who scored points for his team yesterday.

To be fair, brain damage likely accounts for over 50% of his support.

If New Years eve means college football and Dominos pizza, is it safe to assume New Years day means regret and diarrhea?
Who sponsors those tweets?

Manziel ate dinner, gambled, and partied wearing a blonde wig, mustache, glasses, and hoodie, going by the name “Billy.”

Manning: Are you sure the NFL doesn’t test for this stuff? I don’t want to get in trouble.

Officials don’t call penalties outside of their specific zone of responsibility for a whole host of good reasons. Another referee almost always has a better view of the play, and doing so is essentially overruling somebody in a better position. It’s also quite difficult to throw a flag on something happening in…

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Oh, FFS, just watch the damn thing. Seriously. The people at the clinics all go around talking about their celebrity clients, how they manipulate patient charts, how to beat tests, the whole nine yards. They do this on a camera, the picture and audio is as clear as day.

My money has always been on your being Mattabbattacola

Upon reading Jaws’ tweet, Chris Broussard tweeted that his “sources confirmed” that the suspension was overturned.

“In five years, when Tebow is leading Denver into the playoffs and Cam Newton is riding someone’s bench, remember this article.”