It is wise to hardly ever threaten judges. Be wise.

Ok, it may be made by Anita Dickin, but the patent holder is Amanda Bonami.

Yeah or a Dickin Cider from Anita Dickin.

With Detroit’s stellar credit history, this should be a marriage made in heaven.

Think you mean Clinton-y

I’d say more Clinton Foundation-y

Is that the circle where you have terminal rectal itch and nothing but glass shards for toilet paper?

Sad to say, you could substitute all sorts of things - starting with “food” or “medicine” - for “sports” and your proposition would still be true...

Knowing that Jack Warner relies on The Onion for his current events information, my guess is that he squirreled the money into a fund to support Haiti’s Olympic bid, which had recently been reported by the Onion in 2009.

He forgot Russian and Klingon.

Haha!

FIFA fixing? Yes.

“But they’re also pretty shitty beer-storage devices.”

I don’t like what it says about me when my first reaction was: “what’s preposterous about 128 ounces?”

I am a bit confused - do you mean that even unopened growlers (post-fill at brewery) are more contaminated/swilly, or are you referring to their quality once you open them at home (which the phrase “day-after growler dregs” seems to suggest). Once opened, I always figured you treat a growler like an open bottle of…

@SaraRueful: She was fondling the vegetables, doing a Marion Wormer.

This lacks a certain romantic majesty. Diarrhea-style texting? Whatever happened to flowers delivered to work?

It appears Reggie took the "Every Kiss Begins With Kay" jingle a bit too seriously.

That message in the sky was actually from Wade Boggs, and was written in telegram style: "Reggie Miller. Pursuing married women is great, isn't it?"

53 is a lot of pictures of your dong.