I audibly chuckled

The power of Tom Cruise’s touch is known

This is all I really wanted to know!

On a side note: the raccoon is safe. It made it to the roof, was trapped and is now safe.

Only 10 percent of adults are intelligent enough to get it, the theater I saw it at laughed and was bored, I wanted to kill everyone.

While Paul most definitely antagonized the guy, I also believe that some people are just so fucking nuts about their lawns, views, neighbors, etc. and get angry over the most insane shit. And I’m sorry, they’re usually retired and have nothing else to do but mow their lawns twice a day and spend the rest of the time…

I’m afraid I automatically have to side with Paul’s neighbor, based on Paul’s Libertarian politics and his Resting Asshole Face.

The next day, Paul used his lawnmower to blow leaves onto Boucher’s yard and then made another branch pile in the same spot, it said.

is a korean stuffed cucumber a cucumber stuffed by a korean or with a korean?

This X One Billion. Aside from the absolute INHUMANITY of it all is the fact that our actual law is not being followed. Oh, and it is actively being rewritten by President Tiny Dildo Finger’s least favorite racist elf.

It’s Stephen Miller, no doubt. He’s the right age and the right amount of racist to say stupid shit like that. Basically his entire political philosophy is probably because he wasn’t popular at his SoCal high school.

And filed under ‘always the bridesmaid’, me in life, pictured on the right :/

If I hear asylum seekers referred to as illegal immigrants or attempting to enter illegally I’m going to scream. It is perfectly legal to present yourself at a boarder crossing and request asylum. People are being arrested and detained and their children taken away for a completely legal act. The media is failing to…

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

“Even learning on a campus on which some people defend perpetrators of sexual assault and silence their victims,”

I proposed to my wife after a month, she moved in two weeks later, we got married after 13 months of engagement and have been married 11 years this month. No couple’s timing is the same as anyone else’s.

If it’s true, congrats! May it bring more joy into the world.

Same. I contemplate reading it all of the time, but I always end up grabbing something else. I’m not sure if it’s because the book is in script form, or if it’s because I’m not ready to deal with Harry Potter who is now my age, dealing with the mundaneness of adulthood. I think it’s a mixture of both.

These other world leaders are showing a surprising amount of restraint. I really expected at least one “Oh just sit down and shut up, you stupid, stupid man” by now. But I guess that’s why I’m not a diplomat. (Well... that, and also I don’t even have a high school diploma.)

God, that picture. It looks like she’s thinking, “This fucking moron” and crying inside remembering what it was like when Obama was there.