Weddings are a day for your parents’ friends to get completely shitcanned with your friends and badly dance to decades-old pop music.

Dat Obama line....

I research like a complete and total nerd.

I have to call bullshit on this. If FB, Amazon, YouTube, etc. can basically read my mind to sell me shit they can figure this out. Only they’re not losing money because of it, and fixing the problem won’t make them any more money (will actually cost them).

I fell asleep reading your comment.

I would 100% watch this.

Oh man, she didn't even get mentioned in this article, and I bet she is somewhere feeling pissed for the omission!

This story proves, without a shadow of a doubt, the futility of arguing with hardcore anti-vaxxers. If almost losing a child, something I fear much more than dying myself, isn’t enough to shake these people, nothing will. Bet the medical staff treating this poor child had to restrain themselves.

How come she still doesn’t have job in 45 administration yet???

It is great that the Smith family is helping the people of Flint, but man I am so tired of seeing celebrities and billionaires having to step up and do the government’s job. 

I blame Joe Clark.

It’s not just vaginas! There was a bodybuilder in my dorm when I was in college who basically only ate meat as part of some weird 0% body fat diet. He was stunningly gorgeous, intelligent, and charming. He got tons of one-night stand tail but could never hold down a girlfriend. Why? It was openly discussed (behind his…

You can pry my bread and tortillas from my cold dead hands. Bury me in burritos.

My daughter has this Miyazaki dvd that autoplays with this creepy introduction from Lasseter acting like he f-ing discovered the entire genre of WELL ESTABLISHED AND BELOVED non western children’s films—-and then there is this awful clip where Lasseter looks drunk “introducing” Miyazaki to “the world” and I am like…

Faye as Bonnie reacting to Clyde’s feeble effort at writing.

If you can’t love her even more.

Judge gave her the shortest possible sentence he could, by law. This is why minimum sentences are terrible. 

You’re a server, not a servant.

No prison time yet. (Alleged) white collar criminals out on bail with spendy lawyers have every incentive to postpone the inevitable. Then appeal after that.

Take her head and rub her nose in the terrible tip and say, “Did you do that? No! Bad tipper, bad!” She should learn her lesson after the second or third time.