“And don’t get me started on Wendy and her massive hatred of immigrants”

Who has been dead for almost 40 years.... Does he think the guy from the KFC commercial is the real Colonel Sanders just because he did his own commercials?

If a guy can’t the difference between what they sell at Papa John’s and real pizza, then we shouldn’t be too surprised that he can’t tell the difference between his mouth and a shoe.

Coming up at 5, Oven Hot Takes with Papa John

That’s also a really unfair slight on Colonel Sanders, who was a strange dude and certainly a man of his times, (like the time he beat up his own client in court as an attorney, or the time he shot a competitor over advertising space) but one who absolutely *loved* to fuck with racists.

A lot of white people seem to be believe that you simply can’t be a racist if you’re not actively murdering (or, possibly, attempting to murder) people of color.

A selection determined by a college of Cardinals, one assumes?

“Ronald McDonald is a RAGING anti-Semite and everybody loves him!”

My favorite part of the Forbes article:

Yeah, this is way more troubling to me than the gratuitous N-bomb.  "Look, I'm not actively *murdering* black people, what more do you want?"

“Colonel Sanders called blacks n——-s”

You nearly got me, take your damn star.

Over / Under on him becoming a regular contributor to Fox News is about two weeks in my book, and I’m thinking the under will pay off.

“We now go live to But What About Colonel Sanders Stadium”

And now we wait for the white smoke to rise from the pizza oven, indicating the selection of the new Papa John

I can understand his frustration. I know that this site is all about jumping on up your liberal snowflake high horse and looking down on real Americans, but just try to put yourself in his shoes—as he says, he doesn’t go around calling people racial slurs or participating in lynchings, and does one person ever stop to…

Gotta give him credit though, he destroyed his legacy in under 30 minutes.

Most distressingly, his bitchin’ Camaro was stolen AGAIN!

He also noted, for some reason, that where he grew up people used to kill black people by dragging them behind trucks.

And as with any day that involves Papa Johns, the following morning is always worse.