Im so innocent I really thought she was bragging about how she now has enough money to afford a horse

He has hosted for the last 10 years. Guess you haven’t been home sick and turned on the tv in the last decade?

I came here to say that this child is being emotionally abused and financially and sexually exploited and there should be criminal legal consequences for the adults involved. I’m not scandalized. I’m not shocked. Female children have been used this way since the invention of property. But let’s look beyond the veneer…

Porsches and heroin, I think? Neither should be relevant to fourteen-year-olds, I also think.

Why not? Everything on TV is real. They wouldn’t broadcast it otherwise.

Um, sorry, what company? Asking for a fiend—friend! I meant “friend.”

An indie makeup company just released a Baba Yaga blush this morning. The timing of the release on the same day as the results of the poll is actually complete synchronicity since it’s part of their Halloween collection that was developed and scheduled for today a while ago, but I feel like I should mention it anyway.

The original comment is tailor-made for the Ron Burgandy “That escalated quickly” gif.

Original ideas?? Who needs’em!

CRONE POWA, BITCHES! HAGS BEFORE STAGS! HAGS BEFORE STAGS!

Crone powa!! Hags before stags!

Y’know what? I initially cringed at the headline, but then I remembered four words: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Kind of intrigued now.

They are close, but a siren’s purpose is to lure sailors to their death with their song. A mermaid has the nerve to sometimes save the sailors.

These are both worthy options, but I’m all in for Baba Yaga. Once we’re no longer lethal-sex desirable, we are all the crone. Our wisdom is our power. Our rejection of the patriarchy is the reason they fear us. We surround ourselves with our sisters because Fuck Dudes. We are mysterious and strong and don’t care what…

Okay, obvs everyone should vote for Baba Yaga and then dress in Dolly Kei fashion.

When Baba Yaga wins despite my vote, I expect Jezebel to put out a Baba Yaga beauty tutorial.

After years of sighing in disappointment at the tendency of the brackets to coalesce around the most neutral options, I’m pleased to see that Jezebel is firmly on the side of the murderous and monstrous.

On the contrary, I am taking this seriously (honestly embarrassed how invested I am in this) and am solidly anti-Baba. Sirens: Smashing the patriarchy one ship at a time.

The suspense is killing me.

I feel like ultimately this has comed down to People Taking This Seriously vs. Everyone Else.