Ok.

I am a teacher (High school math, formerly English and History), and I cannot find this amusing. I remember being 9 and getting mad when a teacher was wrong. Germany isn’t landlocked Mrs. Hampton!

When asked if Kevin Durant’s departure motivated him throughout the season, Westbrook quickly hid away a lip smudged photo of Durant and retorted, “Who’s he?”

“It still up for grabs?”

You’re rewriting the dictionary

Easy to say with a one-and-done son on the way out the door.

No team is going to win a championship when their best player is Drake.

Derek Jeter is happy he retired before this existed

Bartolo.

Counterpoint: you’re wrong.

The only way this could end meaningfully is if Westbrook acknowledges his muse, holds up a photo of Durant during the MVP ceremony after the Thunder are already eliminated from the playoffs, and says, “You da real MVP.”

Please stop writing about soccer.

Yeah, well, Ashley Williams is going to be at Everton long after Lukaku has finished forcing his way out of the club he thinks he’s better than, so maybe we’re telling the wrong guy to fuck off here. Very excited for Rom to fade into obscurity once he’s no longer the biggest fish in the pond.

Lukaku? More like Lukame.

That’s one take. Another is that Lukaku—a world-class player toiling on a lesser squad, who has nearly single-handedly kept Everton afloat this season with his 21 goal—was frustrated by both the match and the season as a whole, and didn’t take kindly to Ashley Williams exuberantly calling him out on the field during…

I disagree. If the forwards aren’t pressing then the whole press goes to shit. Goal scoring doesn’t excuse you from this duty.

But who is going to read scripted host jokes on @midnight 4 nights a week now?

Unfortunately he can’t complete a Madison Bumgarner hat trick as Yasiel Puig is not on the Diamondbacks for him to yell at.

You self-centered “freedom” types never understand what is for the greater good.