Just make any intentional foul made outside of the final 2 minutes of the game a flagrant 1.

You know what? Just fuck everything.

Rodney Harrison couldn’t even separate a football from a man’s helmet with the Super Bowl on the line.

I feel like I should be reading this story in Newspeak.

Does their kid live on the second floor?

The Cialis finally kicked in last night.

Get your hands on as many wiener dogs as you can. I have one...they are tenacious as fuck.

Why must the written word keep dying? I can’t listen to a podcast at my desk!

Holy shit! That lawyer photo is incredible!

I was going to put the .gif of a homeless man turning into a mailbox from The Simpsons but my stupid work proxy apparently has an issue with hilarity

I’m actually relieved by this. I’m so worn out on hearing about football players assaulting women. It’s good to hear that, for once, that wasn’t the case.

“He threw that one out of bounds...JUST LIKE YOUR LAST GOLF SHOT, EH NANTZY! JIM NANTZ AND I PLAY GOLF SOMETIMES AND HE IS NOT VERY GOOD IS WHAT I’M SAYING.”

Get we get Phil Simms off of Madden? I can’t play without any commentary but his is especially bad. Why does he call out Nantz’ terrible golfing ability so much? IT’S NOT FUNNY, PHIL!

I’ve never seen this before. It’s incredible. Thank you for sharing.

When I read the title my first thought was something along the lines of, “Here go people overreacting to someone spanking their kid.” then I read “Hockey stick and a jump rope” and my next thought was, “That’s not a spanking. That’s assault.” The word spanking shouldn’t even be in the title unless it’s there as…

As a Thunder fan I want them to win this one game almost as much as I want them to win the championship.

Yeah but, where do they sit when it comes to average VORP?

It’s sad because I thought Sam Taylor-Johnson actually managed to turn the first book into a watchable movie and everything I’ve heard makes it sound like it’s because she basically didn’t listen to E.L. James. With the new director and James’ husband involved the next two movies are going to be so bad.

Jim Tomsula knows that when painting an end zone you need to put down a good coat of primer. It will save you both time and money.

Astroarcheologist is what Harrison Ford should put on his business cards.