I always thought it was for show, but I just opened one up and - HOLY SHIT - it can actually hold stuff.

It’s really not fair. If I can look like a fat amorphous, vaguely human blob with my shirt off, then at minimum older ladies should be free to dangle their flaps. One day, I hope we can live in a world where everybody is equally disgusting and nobody cares.

Fold the straw into the drink so nothing comes out.

I don’t think carrying a backpack full of Everclear, Redbull, and Gatorade is a smart thing to do on a motorcycle...

If only Brady taught Aaron how to destroy evidence, he’d be a free man right now!

I can’t blame Kromer for wanting to reverse the situation the Bills usually find themselves in

He’s wearing a fucked up shirt but I think the worst part of this is that he obviously isn’t wearing any deodorant. You are brave for pushing through that smell to talk to him.

You should check out the men’s fashion section sometime. There aren’t many affordable options. Sure, if you’re rich you can get whatever the hell you want but the average joe sure ain’t going to buy it.

That is not what “impersonate a police officer” means or else anyone in a movie or tv show would be violating that law, too. If the fake cop had pulled somebody over and written up a bogus ticket, then, yes, that’s impersonating an officer. Three idiots fucking with each other in their own home does not quality.

If ladies are on subs then bears will find the subs!!!

My hair naturally grows into an afro if I don’t cut it. Should I kill myself?

Yeah, who cares? She received exactly the same treatment as a male who killed a lion. This isn’t a good mountain to die on.

A moron literally commented a few posts up to defend hunting because he was “raised that way”.

You should avoid him even when he’s not feeling threatened because apparently he just kills everything.

I will join you but no ranged weaponry because I ain’t a wuss. Swords and machetes only. How big can your balls really be when you’re using a gun or bow and arrow? Hint: the answer is small as fuck because you ain’t fighting like a man.

If Cecil’s kids must die, then his family must suffer, too. Fuck him and his seed.

I would gladly eat a salad of whispering eyes...

It could’ve been one of those drive-thru / take out only stands with no indoor seating (although I have no idea if Downey has an old school In N Out). Maybe the worker put it in a cup to be taken later and a co-worker didn’t realize it had meth in it before putting shake inside?

Wait a second, does this mean it’s not normal that my penis can see colors?

I actually have the opposite problem. Girls always think I’m hitting on them but I am just trying to be friends. :(