Butt pirate is more of a compliment than an insult. Butts rule.

If Biden and Bernie teamed up, I think my head would explode from the sheer awesomeness

I also fear duck boners

I can verify this one. Don’t ask. #lifehacks #shitjustgotreal #backupundies

The In N Out* secret menu annoys me because it’s been around so long they might as well list it on the actual menu. I think they just rely word-of-mouth so they don’t have to spend money making new menus.

Now that you mention it, Trump seems exactly like a 30 Rock style presidential candidate

I will do my duty and knock up as many women as I can so that we may raise the dead and stop this madman

I hope nobody tells them about stomach acid...

He is either going to end up in solitary or shanked in the shower

i stand by my statement!!

Yeah, but we’re not talking about whatever shit country you’re from though

It’s nice that transgender people will have a way to receive cheap/free college education, healthcare, life insurance, and access to the same job and promotional benefits that everyone else already has. But yeah your point is way more notable

What’s with the misleading article?

Put that timeline next to the rest of US history and it doesn’t seem that bad

perhaps you should give up on using shoe laces and swap to velcro so you’ll have more brain power for your day-to-day because right now i think it’s hurting you

what would you say to $texas ??

I use it all the time and I never thought about how weird it was until that tweet

No doctor has ever told anyone, ever, to play more golf or race a car to get into better shape. The fuck are you smokin’? If those are sports then gaming sure as hell is one, too.

How can you read Kotaku for any length of time without seeing a single WoW shoulder pad

Thomas Jefferson didn’t hide that fact that he had slaves. Cosby did his damn best to hide all his rapes though. That’s probably the difference you’re looking for.