Those monsters. I’m so sorry. You made it out the other side, though. I’m proud of you.

OK, I’m going to get this out here because I’ve been intentionally trying to forget this event my entire life. Maybe telling it will help...

‘68-’69? Karen sounds like she might be my mom. She’s a total sociopath with exquisite manipulation skills, and this sounds like just the sort of fuckery she would’ve pulled as a teenager for giggles. In which case her mother likely didn’t notice y’all because she was really honing her alcoholism at the time.

Honestly, it sounds like she’s a professional arsonist.

That is straight up evil! Please tell me you punched her in the face.

I always wonder how often someone reads a Pissing Contest story and thinks “Oh my god, this is about ME! I totally puked in that girl’s purse in Hoboken in 1985!”

After reading a bunch of these comments I realized there’s a huge need for a “I Deserve an Enormous Apology” Pissing Contest. Even better would be a follow up with the stories of anyone brave enough to send their story to their nemesis and the response they got.

Beautiful tits are in the eye of the beholder. -Shakespeare

It was my first dance ever at my middle school. I was dancing and having a great time. I went to sit down for a bit, and sat in pizza. Like those long rectangle slabs of pizza from the cafeteria. I felt the sauce leak in from my butt down to my knees. I was mortified and like who the fuck needed so much pizza?! For…

Here in the UK, high school dances and proms are really only becoming a thing now; when I was a kid, it was more the under 18’s nights (“kiddie’s disco”) at the local nightclubs that we had, which were kinda shit-showy as they would take place in the center of town in a nightclub surrounded by all of the other…

Another diarrhea story, unfortunately:

Well that’s really on them for not saying “no homo” first, as one should when kissing ANYBODY, JUST IN CASE.

Middle school dance on an overnight sport competition trip. I took dance classes since I could walk so I thought I was a pretty great dancer (if the dancing was tap or jazz related). One of those dreadful dance circles developed and one by one my peers awkwardly moved through it to the other side. My maximum…

I was 14. It was the mid 70s. A boy I barely liked asked me to dance. He had red hair and freckles and blue eyes, and I have a hard wired preference for brown eyes and hair. But hey, a slow dance is a slow dance.

Maybe it was in 7th grade when I had my friends ask the friends of my crush if he would dance with me and then his friends told my friends that he laughed when they asked him.

Not sure if mine counts, because we didn’t make it to the dance...but here goes. My boyfriend the beginning of senior year went to the rival high school of the public school I had previously attended before my parents sent me to private school. We were going to go to homecoming, and i was pretty excited about having…

At the school dance when I was in Year 9 I kissed one boy in my class, then later that night, another boy in my class. The next day everyone in the class decided that the boys had essentially kissed each other and neither of them ever spoke to me again.

I white girl popped and locked it at my senior prom and ended up spraining my knee really bad. Ended up going to the hospital later on. No drugs or alcohol involved, did this fail 100% sober.

It was no Josie-Grossie moment, but, at my first ever high school dance, I was thrilled to get asked to dance (I was still making friends as I went to a different school than the rest of my eighth grade classmates). What I didn’t know was that I was being asked to dance to the looongest freakin’ “slow dance” song in…

Not an embarrassing moment, per se, but an embarrassing dance. For two years in high school, I was part of a group of girls who would get shuttled down to the Air Force Academy for dances with the freshmen cadets. They would line up outside the bus as we lined up in it, and whoever you paired up with was your date for…