I just assume that any time a car salesman opens his mouth, he’s lying. Finance guys aren’t far behind. But, BS story or not, he makes a valid point in this case.

I hope someday my misfortune is featured on Jalopnik so that others can make light of it. It’s only fair.

Someone told her not to worry about the car catching fire since she’d be underwater on her loan.

Here’s what that exact car looks like today. Weep for our future.

Whatever. Either one looks better than black on a dark green car. If you’re now going to tell me that this particular car is not dark green, but some other shade of green... well... you can just (Michael) Fux off.

It’s pronounced “fooks”.

McLaren was originally going to fit it with black wheels, but he demanded chrome wheels instead.

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I thought that might have been this spot, but maybe not. ‘Merica.

Yeah, I learned that the hard way. Thankfully, I found a decent divorce lawyer.

Clearly you’ve been thinking this through for quite some time. I surrender to your superior logic. Just save me one with sprinkles.

You get to carry a gun. Solves both problems. And you get that whole box of donuts to yourself.

He’s a politician. This is one of the guys in charge of government budgeting. You can’t expect him to be an expert in things like math or numbers.

I would. Imagine how much naptime you could get in. The drawback is that you have to remember to get a box of donuts before you head out for work in the morning, since the closest Dunkin is probably a few hours away.

How many times will it take for me to get the horns on there perfectly straight? Probably a million.

I know right? Which makes it all the more amazing that this car wore Ohio license plates. I suspect it lived most of its life elsewhere...

How about completely non-existent? I was alive back then, and one of the few to survive the side-intrusion-ocalypse.

I saw one of these on the highway headed into Cincinnati last week. Not quite in as good a condition, but good enough that I commented to my wife that “damn, you sure don’t see those around in decent shape anymore! It’s amazing how freaking tiny they were back then, especially next to the behemoths they are these days.…

Which, if you ask me, was a good-looking car, and still is. Just too bad the bite didn’t match the bark.

It’s not invisible. That’s the Lotus submarine.