Sometimes I’d only like to eat 1/2 a Big Mac. But unfortunately that’s not the way they sell them. Life’s a bitch, ain’t it?

Here. Make your own.

He’s the Stig’s retarded cousin.

Maybe a smaller car would be easier for him to handle?

There’s plenty of anti-American media in this country, too, if that’s what you prefer. Something for everyone. That’s our motto.

I was gonna say, “and maybe a blow job, too”, but felt it set the wrong tone.

Remember when “full-service” was a thing? When you had the option of having someone pump the gas for you, plus you’d get your windshield cleaned, oil level checked, and maybe some other stuff, too?

I think you underestimate our European counterparts.

Oh, it’s an ultrasound. I see it now.

What is this picture supposed to be? An x-ray of his teeth?

From the people who brought you New Coke and Crystal Pepsi...

I say we call it a “Veers”, in memorium.

Ah, my bad. Didn’t realize there are several Fusion articles referenced.

I’m not sure if you actually read the Fusion article, or if this story, funny as it is, is really meant to rebuke the Fusion article. Because Fusion does not seem particularly enamoured by Soylent, either.

Thanks for the earworm.

I need one of these.

Horsepower is only necessary if you have to slow down for the corners.

Next on Top Gear, the producers bring us a new challenge!

Can’t start a fire without a Spark.

So high it can’t even spell Chrysler.