At least a new Kinja experience is coming soon.

Any suburban dad will tell you that buying a minivan is actually the first sign of giving up.

"Trust me Katie. I've got plenty of skeleton metal, and it's not so great either." - Joe Theismann

I think the outdoor training was based on an expectation of the Sochi venue's roof collapsing.

Please. Someone with as limited range as Scarlett Johansson should never be playing shortstop.

Fighting over a little strip, is that all they fucking do in the Middle East?!

Awkward conversation. A man and woman drinking cheap booze. Neither has any idea where this terrible conversation is going.

Wow, you're really Russian to judgement on that Petchesky.

Perhaps a collaborative effort is in order. For example, Hansen could try to pop and lock it and Kennedy could just fucking drop it.

The only pieces of crap here are Jeff Orr and TTU.

In the time that meeting took place, three more UGAs died.

As the chick in this video, all I can say is that running in powder when there's no one else out at night is a shitload of fun. But stopping to pose for the local news station in the middle of the icy street hurts like a bitch. Glad it's as funny for everyone else as it was for us.

Can't blame them, that patch of snow is the Burj Al Arab Hotel compared to their accommodations.

Well at least you weren't a dick about it...

The cameraman was evaluated at a local animal shelter, deemed unsafe for the public, and euthanized.

Probably not a great idea for New Mexico to get on this list. If you put a little disc over their state everyone is bound to freak the fuck out.

As long as he tags it "The Big Game" and not "SuperBowl" he should be fine.

I stayed away from gambling on the puppy bowl, I sensed that a fix was coming

"Hey, check out my crazy core!"

[Opens up coat]
[Pulls aside Wild Berry rosary array]
[Hands over pamphlets delineating views on transubstantiation and female sexuality]

Waffle house.