Hey Bobby, hold my beer...

None of those sections look as comfortable as my couch.

Then she's not going to get very far by drinking that coffee. Gonna have to drain the tank after one cup.

The college football coach. I'm trying to think of another position in life that comes with such a mouthpiece and huge media exposure so easily.

"Call me."

"Here, read this email on my phone from the NCAA..."

It's rumored that Maradona is about to file a similar suit regarding FIFA's substitution policy for hand injuries.

Gordon took the wrong tack in not playing the Mary Jane card:

Beltre just needs to move to first if he's not comfortable at third base. Everybody knows that getting to third involves touching the head.

Gilbert also planned to promise rock music in the hallways, but reconsidered since most players won't be able to hear it over the ringing after Week 4.

This isn't the first time a couple of stories and some 7 year old led to a wet Trojan.

This is news of biblical proportions. Not one Evangel expected to survive the Firestorm.

Sorry man, just a shot at the obligatory "she traveled" joke.

She went to South Williamsport.

Peyton really shouldn't be sticking his neck out like that.

All that Barclays pork on his side, and he still can't convert the foodie.

"Look, we just want to you to suit up. That's all. Stand there with your back to the TV cameras."

"I'm with you, bro."

"Golf is surprisingly high."

"Hey Johnny, can I get a second? Yeah, so Beibs called at halftime and said he didn't want to hang anymore."