Jesus... I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t do an entire dinner in that situation.
I’d take myself out with the salad fork before the second course.

You must really love your wife

Yup.

Then there’s Rudy throwing up affidavits he printed on the internet. Instead of George Stephenopolous, I needed Judge Milan from The People’s Court letting him have it for bringing something to court that he could have typed up himself. I appreciated Chris Wallace’s anger and contempt over George’s amused exasperation.

It is truly sad that someone capable of intelligent thought can reason out that those things are okay. They must be morally bankrupt (but probably still religious!).

I giddily look forward to the day that Dancing With the Stars declines his agent’s offer to appear as a contestant. I will make a big fucking unfrosted white cake, push two little chocolate chips into the spongey top, and pretend I am eating his stupid head.

Seeing all the assorted rightists blustering their way through interviews this weekend was equal parts hilarious and mind-bending. They were all so far out there, it really made me think this could be Trump’s undoing. The desperation was that thick.

Mike is gayer than a three dollar bill.

“Hello, Wilbur.”

When her mental issues became public, it should have been clear to everyone she’s been though enough and made her family enough money, and the court should have appointed a conservator from outside the family to handle her finances, and then let her retire to live the rest of her life in peace and out of the…

That’s a lot to lay on the tiny shoulders of a child. Do you feel this much “ire” every time you see a white girl with a messy bun? All children look unkempt after running around and playing all day, but only Black children get maligned as a disgrace to their entire race for doing what kids do. Can they ever just live…

I recently saw a buzzfeed or Twitter slide show of before and after school shots and the kids (of all races) looked like they had gone through a tornado by 3pm. Pristine braids gone, outfits stained and ripped, lopsided hairdos, etc. Kids are magnets for mess. 

I just don’t know how you can be concerned about this sexual predator when Harry & Meghan are out here closing their own car doors. Priorities, Kelly. Sheesh!

I imagine the writers are already chain-smoking with stress over how to write Brexit. 

Not really related, but: I met a lady who had one of these on her desk. She asked me if I was easily scared and I said no. She squeezed it’s belly and I nearly dove under my chair. It was great!

Honestly, as someone who’s had issues with this in the past (haha, who hasn’t?), moving from “you need to love yourself!” to “things are fine.” was a really, really good switch. I’m fine. I don’t need to love my body or whatever, just accept it and treat it well. And having a therapist who let me set that goal (“I…

Conservatives aren’t funny. The comedians conservatives think are funny are...Larry the Cable Guy. Tim Allen. Sentient re-hashes of the same old unfunny shit from the last 50 years, sometimes packaged in a new way but always entirely predictable. 

Agreed. It’s less of a dress than a bedspread.

This will absolutely help other people that are struggling and suffering in silence. I loved him as the 9th Doctor, and I hope for his continued recovery.