Ah, Arizona Man. Cousin (and brother, actually) of Florida man. 

“rare species, Racist Americanus”

Nah, this species is definitely listed as “least threatened” by the World Wildlife Fund.

They were trying to protect us the whole time...

It kind of seems like a tall order convincing Lebron to go to the Nugs. Boykins should know potential suitors are not in short supply.

“Hey, Houston is pretty cool, go check it out.”

-Austin local

Advertising on this article is really on point.

They’ve invaded Austin pretty heavily. And true to form, they constantly block the downtown running path (town lake) for photo shoots with “babes”.

A variation I’ve had of the “move over to aisle seat” debate: The person in the middle moved to the aisle seat, then proceeded to dump all of their books and other things to be enjoyed during the flight in the middle seat. Nah, that middle seat is Switzerland.

we don’t speak of wilco

I’m Austin, TX born and raised. 90 square miles of sanity surrounded by Texas.

And of course a MAGA cletus gets in on the action: https://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/houston/article/Man-carrying-American-flag-and-handgun-arrives-at-12925271.php

that would be fundamentally underrated if we’re sticking with the theme

In many ways, he is the spiritual successor to Tim Duncan, “boring” by many standards, but pretty essential to his team.

“Look at that mobility!” - Greg Oden

I guess you made a list for diaper boys because I don’t see caramel mini waffles anywhere.

If I was the baserunner, this would have become a crying game after that trick.

A real hum-Ringer of a listicle, this one.

This joke was really on the nose.

*Walt Jr.

Can’t we just fully commit?