raccoonmyass
RaccoonMyAss
raccoonmyass

Women’s razors, even the fancy ones, destroy my legs. The skin is sensitive, but I have gorilla leg hair (thanks for the hairiness dad, rest your soul). I buy the men’s Mach 3 disposable razors. Economical if you use them a while, and you won’t get razor bumps. Men’s shave gel is far better than the lady version, too.

“The fact though is that we want our kids not to have to decide which bathroom they get to go in. And not to be subject to peer pressure about which one to go in.

What’s the big deal about staying on topic? Do you think that ISIS worries about staying on topic when they’re planning attacks against the Statue of Liberty? Does that great statue not say, ‘give us your tired’? I’ll give you the facts: Americans are tired. Tired of government interference in their healthcare.

The real problem isn’t trans kids. It’s hipster, artisan restaurants that have to be oh so clever with their bathroom signage. Is that a rooster or a hen?! Is that a male or female chandelier?! I don’t know!

because LA schools got closed, due to children are confused by transgender children.

It would be more surprising if she hadn’t made out with Liam Hemsworth. How could you not? I mean...

Mother, May I Mess With Perfection?

I thought Alyssa was Kris Jenner for a sec...honey, no.

To me, the last paragraph exemplifies why this is a good idea. It seems like they’re going out of their way to avoid saying “your immigrant ways are wrong” and instead are saying “there are the rules here. even if these rules don’t apply where you are from, they apply in Norway.”

No joke, my step daughter had me buy Donald Trump piñatas for her quinceanera and everybody had a blast bludgeoning it with passion

I seriously got into an argument with a gun nut and I was commenting with facts about guns and he was responding “that’s just your northern beliefs, we in the south have different beliefs.” and it was the most frustrating thing in the world.

Trump is like a sentient Onion article that doesn’t realize it was born in satire.

Meh. I’ll just do some revenge photoshop while I stay in bed and eat cookies.

My body is presently taking revenge for the way I treated it the first forty years of my life. Does that count?

And now we have the Very Serious Novelist a la Franzen. Curses.

“I probably caused grief for some victim, perhaps. I’m also regretful that I caused trouble for the staff at the Nome court.

Falling into vaginas?

I saw the greatest meme the other day (and of course I can’t find it now); it had a picture of a bunch of white people and the text was something along the lines of, “White People: So privileged even basic equality seems like discrimination.” I lolled so hard, and then I cried. Because it’s just so true.

1. Whose legs are these?