That whole conference felt like watching somebody reheat a meal in the microwave. It wasn’t even like what they showed was bad, it was just starting it in the exact same way, showing the exact same games, not really announcing many more major new titles, it all just felt weird.

This is Google Translate, but here’s the chart Nintendo posted. The red dots are subscription-exclusive features; the grey dots are for everyone.

Tape is no barrier to these children. They eat tape for breakfast. Sometimes literally. Children are weird.

So, what we’re seeing speaks for itself.

Mike, I find this comment from just about a year ago particularly amusing given the subject of this article :D

and who read lighthearted internet words literally, as though he’s genuinely advocating people not to have children.

it’s always easy in these comments to tell who doesn’t have kids

Oh please Jason, we all know you’re the one delaying the Virtual Console on purpose.

Loved the Penny Arcade throw back.

Neat! Now to push the NPC with the Master Torch to Hyrule Castle!

Oh yeah? Well, I’m spreedrunning “Waiting for Zelda to be delivered.”

Unfortunately SSBBOTW Link’s weapons quickly break and you have to kill your opponents for their weapons or scrounge for drops.

Seems like a bit of an odd stance to take considering half the article is talking about reading your opponent’s strategy and attempting to bait them into making the wrong move.

That look on his face was absolutely priceless. That feeling of winning as the underdog is just incredible.

How can you create art or entertainment without putting a bit of yourself in it?

Is that 900p on the television, or on the handheld, though?

Yo but for real I buy a shit ton more Cup Noodles now so it probably worked.

“$300 for a cow nipple simulator? May as well get a cow.” Joyless people.