Or, alternatively; Child Deaths Linked To Mental Illness On The Rise.

There’s a food truck in Austin called “Hey You Gonna Eat or What” that does this. On the other side of their truck it says, “Truly sexy food should play hard to get. Now show us you deserve it.”

I worked with a girl in Yosemite who’s job back in New Orleans was to berate customers at the “complaint desk” of a restaurant there.

I thought I’d seen everything when I was living in Japan, and they would put mayonnaise on pizza. But Japanese people put mayonnaise on everything, and you kind of get used to it.

I’m going to invent a line of portable blast ovens for use in restaurants that cater to older customers. Propane powered ovens on wheels that would just get brought out so the food can be superheated directly next to the table. Big tempered glass doors so the customers can see the propane flames scorching their food…

Oooohhhh....you posted that story a few weeks ago of the server who broiled a bowl to satisfy the woman who made it known she would send the dish back if it wasn’t hot enough, and in a rather stunning confirmation of Pinkham’s law, there were an astonishing number of idiots who said the server assaulted the customer…

DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT EAT PINKHAM YOU DON’T OWN ME

Yeah I’m confused as to how they can sue for the right to basically defraud patients by roping them into services they don’t want and indoctrinating them with pro-life propaganda?

“Spiritual consequences.”

I don’t know about their current status (I believe it’s being fought out in court), but here in Indiana when they passed their moronic ‘religious freedom bill’ to support the Hobby Lobby decision, a “church of marijuana” declared itself in Indianapolis and claimed the right to the religious freedom to use marijuana.

“I have deeply held religious beliefs that I need to be able to lie to all the patients!”

Do it! That’s my go-to Halloween costume: easy and recognizable. Bonus points if you can convince your friends (or, better yet, your kids, if you have any) to dress as dead Dalmatians.

“Slashed my knee while burning a nosy idiot to death at a sauna in Tijuana”

I had open-heart surgery as a toddler, 40 years ago. The scar is very prominent and I make no attempts to cover it. I’ve had it all my life so it’s not a traumatic thing for me, and I still will make up stuff like this sometimes because it’s not random person on the street’s business.

Can you take a friend with you who can say “Woah, that’s totally inappropriate!”? Because I would be that friend.