I spelled "catastrophe" wrong (I knew it was a goddamn e at the end, I choked, dammit!) at my 8th grade spelling bee, so I was merely an alternate at the next stage, which was at the high school.
Time does not heal all wounds, children of the avclub.

True enough. How many times in the span of human history has that actually happened, though?

Truly, you are doing the lord's work.

"People try to identify with people wielding guns because rightly or wrongly guns solve problems"
In the movies guns solve problems. In the actual real world, they tend to exacerbate problems.

Maybe you shouldn't make assumptions about who The Gamera Eye has met. Or do you know them all? That would be an astonishing coincidence!

*Considers moving to Pittsburgh*

She's just always so Julia Roberts

The intelligence thing is huge, and I don't know what the solution is. (I mean, aside from putting DeVos in charge of education, haha *weeps/rends garments/punches cat*)
I've worked in special education for years. You know what the difference is between a child with special needs and an adult who's dumb as a post- the…

The other night I had one of those flashes of panic/disbelief that used to come just minutes after I'd woken up. *Wait, this is real life?!? HOW IS THIS REAL LIFE*
This spring (at work) I met with parents of a 10 year old with autism and they said the child had "cried for days after the election."
I said: Only days? I…

"it could be a commentary on the challenges women face when they try to assert authority in a system that views them with, at best, paternal contempt."
It damn well better be. 'Cause every time that weasely little prick is onscreen, I want to kick the tv in.

My boss, a divorced/single older woman with 2 daughters and a director of special education services not only voted for It, but proudly wore a Trump/Pence button on her purse.
I'm still hoping I can fix her! (obvious mental health problems)

Why, I meant kissing…. Whatever do you mean??
*fans self briefly, passes out on the floor*

I know it's not really the point of the story, but slapping is not what I want to do with that particular face.

Thank you! I voted for Bill Clinton and remember it completely differently, but am too tired and uninvested to share the way it actually was considered at the time.

My taste in music varies widely- lately it's been mostly Leon Bridges, Taj Mahal, Paul's Boutique and The Real Ramona, a perennial favorite (Throwing Muses)- plus songs from Girls and Silicon Valley.
But there is no other band that can instantly put a smile on my face, make me feel as at home in the universe/connected…

Speaking purely from the sexual harassment angle, I'm pretty sure any woman on this planet could beat his ass. So…. have at it, douchebag!

Seriously, though.
What would we do without O'Neal?

Sympathetic upvote. I'm healthy, but last year I was insured through Medicaid. Everyone deserves healthcare (and food and shelter).

Priceless. Funky, I am a grown woman and a pussycat online. IRL, not only would you be unable to make eye contact with me, I could destroy you with a wave of my pinky finger.
You have no idea how delicate and fragile you seem to people like me.

Again with the flaccid homophobia.
So impressive to frightened little boys who are deeply insecure about their heterosexuality!