No, implying that the dildo was on top of the pillow not underneath. Ted is the dildo in this statement.

Between his stance on abortion and this position on dildos Cruz is dangerously underestimating the trollop voting bloc. I really want to make bumper stickers that say “I’m an irredeemable slut, and I vote.”

Meanwhile, back at the Cruz camp....

A list of lifestyles with which I do not “agree:”

my queer lifestyle is not cleaning my room

I hope you still received your copy of The Gay Agenda!

Typical self righteous bigot with direct dial to God who talks out of both sides of her ass. “I have so many gay friends! I mean, they’re all gonna burn in hell, but boy do they have great fashion sense. Oh, the LGBT lifestyle, with its throw pillows and cocaine parties and it’s Velvet paintings of Tammy Faye Baker.…

If the whole thing you ‘disagree’ with is the mere idea of someone loving another person who is the same gender as them than yeah. You’re not respecting them at all.

I don’t accept your lifestyle as a bigot.

Zero fucks Obama is the best Obama.

Honestly, this is such a genius move from Obama. If they finally grow up and approve him? Great, we get a really brilliant moderate to replace asshole conservative Scalia. Huge step up.

This guy is so unoffensive and moderate, he would normally be a gift nominee from any Democratic president to the Republicans. Obama gave them a nominee that makes the Republicans look even more unreasonable than usual to refuse. Judging from my “moderate” and “independent" family members and coworkers, it is pissing…

and...CUT

Yes, the Court will continue to be composed entirely of Jews and Catholics if he is appointed, which is interesting, considering how it used to be that it was always exclusively Protestant.

Shut it down, folks.

“Fuck. So close.”

#notallrapes

Aight, Scrooge. Can I call you Scrooge? Formal titles versus nicknames and whatnot.