“I think this club is restricted, so don’t tell em your Jewish.”

Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.

You want to make $14 the hard way? 

+500 acres of land next to the Great Wall, on the good side.

I tell ya, golf courses and cemeteries are the biggest wastes of prime real estate.

2 to 1 that he walked up to the information desk, held his hand up with the palm facing forward, and went “HOW”

stop humanizing yourself, please

I’m from Chicago originally I drink because of mild alcoholism.

As a not-yet-escaped Southerner I applaud this take. The only thing you left out is the Reefer-Madness-era thinking on decriminalizing marijuana, which is mainly takes on “But think of the white women we need to protect from drug-crazed rapists!”

Shame it all fell apart so soon. That was a fun team. 

“Guys we’re desperate. Doesn’t anyone have anywhere that our team would be welcome?”

At first I thought the dude somehow got fined for doing the bunny ears.  Then I realized I’m just blind as fuck.

So we’re supposed to believe that the government is capable of coordinating complex conspiracies, like running a sex ring and planting pipe bombs, but that an individual man can’t paint his sock to make it look like blood?

It’s weird bc HighAndTight normally has reasonable takes, but this is a truly awful one. Saying the situation at Texas isn’t clearly better than the situation at USC is laughable and goes to show he doesn’t know what he’s talking about here. USC football was a goddamn tire-fire last year and this Kingsbury situation,…

I’ve been back since the 7th and I’d say most of the ones that came back with me are no longer showing up. In my team alone, 3 of the 10 people that came back have filed financial hardships and no longer come in. 

My 80 year old dad never changed a diaper or spent much time with us. He is now so consumed with guilt and regret, and often talks about the great relationships my brothers have with their kids. He’s trying really hard with the grandkids, but gets pretty overwhelmed with the younger ones, because he never learned any…

If you think about it, I’m the real racist. 

It definitely seems as though if there’s one thing that all white Americans can agree on it’s that Martin Luther King said some vaguely inspirational things that weren’t critical of anyone.

If I and many of my co-workers were to “call in sick” it would have a severe impact on those who did show up to work. Besides, I took an oath to come in as an essential worker. I understand the problem and wish there was more that I could do but this particular option isn’t going to work.

This shutdown is the GOP’s wet dream. They are shrinking the government by brute force. Yes it’s also open sabotage against the nation, but they’re still getting paid, right?