I remember when Michael Sam kissing a man was a distraction. 

“How much money is that former UConn guy making, anyway?”

But can he fix the rate limiting step: the concession workers? They certainly move like they are paid by the hour. And God forbid you want a beer from a tap that isn’t directly next to the cashier.

Damn. Poor guy. So much untapped potential.

THANKS MY JOKE WAS SO LACKING AND YOU FIXED IT GOOD I CAN NEVER THANK YOU ENOUGH.

As a White Sox fan, thank you for your service. The already nearly non-existent concession lines at Guaranteed GREAT Field have never moved faster.  

I don’t know whether this guy was a veteran, but they’d better play “Taps” in double-time at his funeral.

It’s not your fault. Look at me son. It's not your fault. No, it's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. *Embraces mtwiddlepants*

Don’t sleep on the fact that it could be they just don’t give a shit about women. 

“Her life is forever ruined because of his actions.”

Well, if he’s not going to be in jail then playing minor league baseball is probably the next best punishment.

Things Romo can hold:
1. A grudge.

Couldn’t they just send an usher with her?

big ass pot holes, crap ass slumlords and a lack of respect for your constituents

1. You can tell me they were fired all you want. Show me the receipts (see what I did there?)

Swingin’ for the downs, the only thing running through his head is “don’t get cheated, don’t get cheated, don’t get cheated, don’t get cheated....”

My friend ogranizes a “do a thing everyday” challenge every year that starts Jan 1. Everyone pays ~$30 and 10 of that goes to a charity. The rest goes into a pot and whoever makes it 365 days (or the one who goes longest) splits it.

removing minor annoyance:

Current progress: