I expected to come here and see a drunk 20 something screaming into the mic. Must admit Im pleasantly surprised.

will never get old, because a Schiano man doesn’t get old.

It’s your own fault the cat scratched you. How many times have I told you not to stick a finger in its butt

Altidore: the striker who won’t shoot at an open net.

Yeah but the Giants are determined to not let him slip through their fingers.

So ESPN severs ties with Simmons and Olbermann, both original content creators, for cost cutting measures.

He was researching getting a double moob removal.

Look, I don’t think the NFLPA does a particularly good job most of the time, but the thing that’s incredibly galling about this is that Troy’s pile of mendacious wordvomits is trying to conceal that the owners actively oppose every single thing he mentioned.

He's probably a lot of fun to do drugs with.

Rob’s ankle was broken during the wrestling portion of the match

“Oh no, no. Too high.”

Another snub for mass-start bobsled on a wide track.

The child is more mature than the collective mass of all the country’s beat writers.

What the hell is wrong with his thumbs?!

Hearing “SEC” uttered, Dan Gilbert immediately bolted from Quicken Loans Arena.

Cops HATE Her! Baltimore Prosecutor Holds People Responsible for Killing a Guy With This One Weird Trick.

15 million dollars for something that’s only used 8 times a year??? Please make the check out to My Dick.

There was a Louis Theroux doc about sex offenders/pedophiles stuck in some hospital trying to be "fixed". They subjected the patients to this procedure. I remember thinking it was insane in itself. I don't remember the specific time, but here is the video(Edit: Minute 13!):

I haven't seen this many upset Kentuckians since their state Board of Education ruled you couldn't buy your GED with possum skins