Makes metaphoric sense. This administration is empty, made up of a bunch of squares, and is consistently being dunked on.

Trust the Process, I guess.

“The biggest crowd in the history of sports, folks, I have to tell you!”

The completely empty seats, the inappropriate use of the Seal of the President of the United States, the poor grammar from someone whose job is communication.

No, I remember Chappelle and Brennan’s writing in the sketch exactly the way he explained it. Dave’s joking intro and outro was kinda like, “ None of us can believe Kelly is so flagrant yet hasn’t been caught up!”

And camping.

I still don't get why people wax on about The Dream Team. The best basketball players of their era, including Jordan in his prime, beat the shit out of what might as well have been a YMCA league. Congrats, guys. 

A good hot dog is still a remarkably disappointing bratwurst. 

Textbook little snowflake! Hahah! Dude doesn’t hesitate to GTFO when the question starts being asked. Again, what a fucking toolbox.

Seems like he’s easily triggered.

finally, a case where his lack of a quick release is actually a plus

some next level trollin’ right here

“she’s not hurting anyone”

There was some woman shrieking during the Ravens-Chargers game this weekend. Never have I prayed harder for a section of stadium to suddenly and violently collapse as I did for hers.

“Every live sporting event has men that get in fights and merely get kicked out of the stadium, but when a woman shows up and mows down 8 people with a AR-15, she gets singled out for prison.”

Guaranteed they’re passive aggressively thinking, “this bitch...” so hard though 

So your solution is to have a drunken, profane, loud, belligerent man AND a shrieker?

Kick out both and then everyone can enjoy the game.

How the fuck did Northwestern let this go on for 3 and a half years?  She shouldn’t have made it more than 3 and a half games before being told to stop because she was ruining the experience for so many others.

Really good college sports fans can be a fucking delight—you have to be some combination of funny, smart or original.  She’s just a nuisance that’s none of those things.

Northwestern official: “Zing low, sweet Harriot.”