[Not with her eye]

I’m a man, and I never got her appeal. I have long since accepted that I’m in the minority on this, as many men seem to consider her some all-encompassing feminine ideal. But, I never got it; she’s dull, she has no talents, abilities or personality and now she’s evidently a failed snake oil salesperson to boot. She…

Also, female police officer is a pre-Shonda Rhimes Dr. Bailey.

Wait. Is this from the episode where Samantha catches Richard cheating on her? Because the episode after that is my favorite one. Specifically because of this scene:

“Dance like you don’t need the money” needs to be a Nomi Malone quote.

For my 18th birthday, I moved out and my mom found my condoms under my old bed and brought them to my new apartment with a bow on it and said, “You left these. I figured your party would be better with them.” It’s no blow in a limo, but my mom knew what was up.

Twice the sacrilege with half the effort!

For some reason, I originally read it as Mormon Gynecological Library and was very confused.

My friend used to be in an emo-band back in the early aughts, but eventually he and everyone else from the band moved on, except for the guy on keyboard who was still trying to eke-out an existence as a musician. (Total stereotype of an emo guy, too. Hair dyed black covering three-fifths his face, jeans so tight they…

Me and my sisters went to catholic school for a year when we were little because we were living in an area where my parents didn’t feel great about the public schools. (We’re not catholic.)

Well this is a story of my grandfather at a moment of great family sadness and pain.

My ex-fiance is now a priest (not Catholic), and one summer he stayed in the guest room at the parish priest’s house. I was between housing situations for a night, so they let me stay over, and we went at it like rabbits. So yeah, did it with an almost-priest in a current priest’s house.

My Jewish parents attended mass given at the Vatican by Pope John Paul II. I asked why, and my dad told me he was hungry and wanted the cracker.

Not exactly IN a house of worship, but I did have sex on the sidewalk in front of the Mormon Genealogical Library in San Diego back in the early 90s.

Person Possessing Prosthetic Penis Panics, Pandemonium Partially Prevented.

Grace Jones resorting to Shade would be like Neil deGrasse Tyson showing up for a lecture with a styrofoam model of the Solar System.

Vanessa Williams, don’t fall for that shit. You are a beautiful, talented goddess who did nothing wrong and has nothing to apologize for. Come hang out at McIndy Manor this Sunday instead and we can drink girl drinks and watch whatever movies you want.

because the Miss America people were under the impression Vanessa would apologize for her actions, and then they would give her the crown.

My mother is 50-something and still insists on referring to a vagina as a “cookie jar”. She almost had a coronary when she took my daughter to the doctor and the doctor used another euphamism (“suzy”) to refer to my daughter’s vagina and LilBallofStress looked at her like she was an absolute idiot and informed her…