Yea the homecoming votes make a hysterical headline, but this is basically identity theft. Whole other animal. 

I’m turning 40 this month. I was ok with it, mostly. But according to Buzzfeed, I’m already mentally 45. Huh. 

Oh god remember when 7-11 tried to sell burgers shaped like hot dog buns? Or was that only a regional thing that they sold poop shaped burgers?

The fact that a Kentucky roadside attraction sees Cocaine Bear as an all-ages attraction explains so much about Rand Paul and Mitch McConnell. 

Yup, the more time that money grows the better.

Thank you! That jumped way out at me right away. Also, if you’re trying to reach Cory Booker, the best bet would be to call various Newark-based numbers since he lives there...

My mother texted me randomly this week to ask if I’ve ever noticed that hamantaschen resemble, um...the female anatomy, and now I can’t unsee it. 

There used to be a smashburger near me. I liked it ok, but mostly I liked that it was conveniently located. I had a particularly rough workout on top of a particularly rough day once, and all I kept telling myself was that if I got through everything I could get a burger and a shake for dinner as a special, “no good…

I am actually fascinated by the Theranos story, but not excited to watch it get rehashed again. The actual story is wild enough, we don’t need a dramatized version of it, and there’s frankly nothing left to uncover.

I’m stuck on the idea of consuming anything in the shower...like, I get it if you’re taking a bath and have a beverage next to you so you can pretend you’re fancy, but in the shower? Do I just use very powerful smelling shower wash, because I would assume everything would taste like my shampoo...

I wonder if this was just a case of poor wording on her part. I just looked up her wikipedia bio, and it says she is dyslexic-combine that with the fact that she speaks at least two languages and probably three if she’s married to a frenchman, and it reads more like “we’re constantly having to defend against stereotype…

Is he trying out for a darwin award? You would think the intense smell of gorilla glue alone would create some sort of evolutionary “THIS IS POISON” response.

The dunkies near me all have huge lines at the drive throughs. I’ll admit I hit my local dunkin once or twice a week, usually on my way to/from getting my kiddo to school on days I want a hot coffee without any effort.

YES my child narrates all his gaming as though he’s doing a walkthrough...on the one hand, it’s great to see him using his imagination...on the other, it’s nonstop....

Oh god I’m just so happy this is a common thing...the real danger here is when they go on youtube and find videos of people giving in-depth theories which they then relay to you...I’ve learned more about every crackpot Legend of Zelda theory than I ever thought I would...

I will cause bodily harm to anyone who tries to take away whole eggs. Egg whites are an insult, the deliciousness is in the yolk. 

Thank you! I was like 90% sure it was Bush, but didn’t feel like trying to google-fu my way to the Runners World article where I learned all that.

Yea, I kind of feel for Saget here. He’s being asked to publicly give his opinion of someone who’s a personal friend who made a big mistake...and if he says “I love her but she made a huge mistake”, then “BOB SAGET SAYS AUNT LORI IS AWFUL” is going to be every clickbait headline.

I wonder if they purposely have one guy who stands out as secret service just to remind everyone “hey, we’re here” with the other agents hidden in workout clothes.

How did she get it in her hair without gluing her head to her hands? Every time I use any sort of Gorilla Glue I end up with my fingers glued together. Once I tried wising up and using rubber gloves, and still managed to glue my fingers together while throwing out the gloves...I’m sort of impressed all she did was…