In my mid-20s I hated having to cook for myself. One night I was headed home after the gym, and thought I’d rather grab a sandwich and soda from 7-11 instead of the minimal effort involved in boiling water for pasta.

Seriously? If the kid scored a 1380 on her own and they wanted her to get over 1400, they could have just hired a tutor and had her re-take it. That’s cheaper and simpler.

I distinctly remember going to see some movie (Hook, maybe?) with my mom, and one of the Alien(s) movies had a trailer beforehand. My mom covered my eyes and the only thing I knew about the trailer was the noises and my mom making disapproving sounds the whole time. I think the actual trailer would have been less…

My son LOVED remote controls. Any and all remote controls. We used to give him old ones so he would stop stealing the ones we actually needed.

That sounds about right. For the record, expect a similar discussion the first time your kid gets the stomach flu.

There are (to my knowledge) FOUR Sonic cartoons, which I am well aware of because my 5 year old is deeply, madly in love with Sonic:

It depends heavily on the other toppings. There’s a restaurant near my parents that has bacon shallot jam as an option for their burgers, and when you pair that with a fried egg it is jaw-droppingly good. On the other hand, it’s nearly impossible to pick it up and eat it because the combo of bacon jam and egg makes it…

I had an awful experience with a Mazda dealer in my area. I drove the same car for 10+ years, and when I was looking for a new car I knew I wanted a hatchback. I have weird vendetta against VW after tweaking my back trying to fit a carseat into my ex’s old Jetta, so VW was out, and Mazda was tops on my list followed…

I mean, it’s entirely possible...but a part of me feels like if the mayor of South Bend, Indiana can be an openly gay man, the senator from NJ who DIDN’T almost get indicted on various corruption charges should be fine to come out. It’s not like anyone in NJ is going to hold it against him, and hiding is a lot more…

Panera should have one of those bagel slicing chutes, where you drop in the bagel and it pops out sliced. At the very least they should have a bagel cutter. They sell enough damn bagels each day. 

I spent a year working for Panera in college. Can confirm, they didn’t boil them then.

I’m a NJ resident and I know people mutter this all the time...but is there any real proof outside of him being suspiciously single for a long time? My lesbian gaydar is excellent but I’m terrible at picking out gay men sometimes.

Young and stupid and hurrying like crazy is how I did it. I was working in the kitchen of a Borders Books cafe, and I was trying to hurriedly slice a bagel for someone while simultaneously brewing tea, and I managed to distract myself long enough for the bagel/knife combo to get a taste for blood. 

This is NOT OK. Risk losing a fingertip and slice the bagel horizontally like nature intended.

I feel oddly better because when I first saw it was being rescheduled over suits, I got a little worried that it meant the ISS didn’t have enough suits for everyone, like a giant orbiting Titanic.

According to my son they also taste good based on specific dino shapes. He prefers pterodactyl shapes, and has swapped nuggets off my plate if he thinks his ratio of pterodactyl nuggets to inferior nuggets is off.

I opened this super excited that someone was making a broadway play about how The Learning Channel turned into “that network with all the freaks and pedophiles”. I’d watch the shit out of that show. 

Like why she has a ranch shirt? The closest her campaign has had to a viral moment was her speaking in a restaurant and being interrupted by some lady who was all “no not here for you, just trying to get some ranch”

My parents and I shared a hotel room while on a trip to look at colleges (I have no memory of my younger brother being there, but maybe he’d already fallen asleep?) and my mom suggested we rent American Pie.

Spoilers....